January 18th, 2007, 10:03 am

Don’t fuck with the Jesus statue, Lisboa

Flickr’d by Tierecke.

When I first got to Lisboa, I was like, “Dude, there’s a giant Jesus here!” I knew there was an enormous statute overlooking Rio de Janeiro in Brazil, but the Lisboa Jesus just doesn’t get enough press. So why do the countries have matching statues?

This got me to imagining the following conversation:

Portugal: Dude, it really sucks that not a lot of people in the world speak Portuguese.
Brazil: I speak Portuguese.
Portugal: Really? No way!
Brazil: Way!
Portugal: Awesome! I can’t tell you how excited that makes me!
Brazil: I’m excited too!
Portugal: Oh my god, we should totally do something to celebrate!
Brazil: I know, I know ….
Portugal: …. like get tattoos …
Brazil: … or BFF necklaces …
[in unison] Portugal AND Brazil: OR GET MATCHING GIANT JESUS STATUTES!!!
Portugal: Oh my god, Oh my god, perfect, perfect!
Brazil: This is sooo hilarious!
Portugal: I’m totally aroused.

Flickr’d by mindzia.

I wake up in the morning, and round the corner to the Oasis Backpacker’s Mansion, peeking through the leaves to give the man a wassup nod. There he is, keeping watch over me.

I’m no Christian, but I find it interesting that the pedestal that Jesus is on is actually bigger than Jesus himself. From what I know of Jesus from Family Guy, I thought that He would be the sort of person who’d eschew pedestals, walking among men as their equal to show them compassion and honesty - that sort of thing.

I guess that’s why I got kicked out of Sunday School.

Flickr’d by danalipar.

Fact-abulous

• Portuguese explorers reached Brazil in 1502, and soon after turned it into a colony, which is why Brazil is the only Portuguese-language country in South America. [source]
• Brazil’s Christ the Redeemer Statue was built in the 1920s, after a local Catholic fundraising campaign. [source]
• Portugal’s Monumento do Cristo-Rei was built in the late 50s, supposedly as thanks for Portugal having been spared the ravages of WWII. [source 1; source 2]
• Although folklore has it that the countries gifted each other the statues, I could find nothing on either official website that indicated that was true.

Know more than I bout the statutes? Let ‘er rip in the comments below.