May 17th, 2007, 10:04 am
The yuckiness of death
WASHINGTON, DC, May 17, 2007
Angie and I heard the snap!
The snap of victory - for the kinda awesome-looking wooden mousetraps, laden with chunky Skippy and emblazoned ‘Victory’ 40s style.
But the snap of victory meant the snap of a neck, for the furry vermin I’d seen scampering in the kitchen just moments before.
She didn’t want to look, and neither did I - but I had to, so I went, in boxers and a tank top, inching into the living room bit by bit until I could see into the kitchen … oh it!
The DEAD MOUSE - sprawled out on the kitchen floor, surrounded by an arc!
I had just swept the kitchen floor - I was pretty sure I knew what the arc was, but I had to know, so I grabbed a flashlight and crept back again, this time holding my arm as far out in front of me as possible, so the flashlight could illuminate the arc without me getting closer.
Oh god!
The sight!
An ARC of fresh red blood - the trap must have sliced an artery in poor Ralph’s neck as he crawled away from the trap - leaving a slash of fresh, crimson MOUSE BLOOD in a Nike-esque whoosh shape on the floor.
At this point, I ran back screaming, hand-wringing, cringing and doing these little hopping up and down motions: “ewwwwwwww!!!!!!” to report back to Angie.
I emailed Jimmy, who said he’d clean it up (he still hasn’t moved in yet), and who wondered - “you’re just gonna let it sit there and decompose?”
Yes, Jimmy, Yes.
Angie’s boyfriend came over in the dead of night, and I awoke to find the floor clean and bare, as if nothing had ever happened there - no snap, no squeak, and no late-night crawl, carmine currents bursting on cool, clean tile.
May 25th, 2007 at 11:29 am
And was the mouse dead, dead. Did you find a body or did it crawl off to die alone? Get a cat, at least then they stay away and you don’t have to deal with the guilt.