May 28th, 2007, 10:03 am

Dig me out!

There are lines around my neck this morning.

Faint lines; deepened and reddened by yesterday’s sun.

They are my mother’s lines.

They are mine.

I’m twenty six today. AP style says I should put that in numerals: 26.

I am 26. I say it out loud and it’s true: twenty six, I’ve earned it, I feel it, I feel great.

Twentyfive saw me, shattered, unsure, deciding on a hungover-soaked whim to quit and to travel and to figure out a happier way of being.

And it was hard; it was so hard, it was being broke and not knowing where to go next and not having a string to tie me down or a place that needed me.

It was growing up, in horrid, bone hardening spurts.

But I - project manager, control freak, live-alone, always-my-way princess - learned to let go.

I can let go.

I can bust my face!

I spent my whole life worrying - don’t fall down, you might fuck up your face! - and I finally did it, and it was one of the best night of my life; sweaty, dancing on the bar with my expatriate Americans, tossing boys aside and making them fetch me beer; with a face full of fucked up.

And I came back to the States to a place that isn’t me, but a job that totally is, and I’ve found my strength, today it seems, in lines that were my mothers and now are mine.

I am twentysix!

Time to celebrate! Eff this here blog!