February 19th, 2007, 12:43 pm
Questions and Answers in Storage
WASHINGTON, DC, February 19, 2007
I opened up a storage unit, packed in haste by friends and foes, six long months ago.
I opened up a set of questions - about myself and the world - and found, under the dust and mold - answers.
Q. What kind of girl needs three routers, a house full of coxial cable and ethernet cord?
A. This kind of girl.
Q. What on earth happened to these boxes to make them broken, shattered alive?
A. Sometimes it’s better not to ask questions.
Q. What do Ziplocs, vintage necklaces, hair products and empty Unisom bottles have in common?
A. They are all things I considered bringing with me, but changed my mind about at the last second.
Q. What are pillows like after being kept in a non-air-conditioned basement in the South for six months?
A. Pretty fucking nasty, and in need of a wash, stat.
Q. Why do you own entire suitcases full of novelty clothing like corsets and fishnets?
A. No comment.
Q. Why on earth would a sane professional woman in her mid 20s pack laundry?
A. Because the professional woman in her mid 20s is not sane.
Q. How awesome is it that it’s cold enough to rock leg warmers and leggings?
A. Completely. Fucking. Awesome.
Q. What is in this box that you paid €150 to mail back to the States?
A. I’m too ashamed to look. I think maps, a dead iPod, some books and extra tampons.
Q. Does rocking out to burned CDs from college make digging through a storage unit that much cooler?
A. Completely. M. I. A.
Q. Why on earth would you pack a Smokey Robinson LP, your hookah, your sole pair of adult-y loafer-y heels, a pizza paddle, a sterling silver candlebra and a monkey head pillow into the same box?
A. Clearly, the SHAPES of these items goes together well. What say you of logic?
Q. Are your green 10-hole Docs from 10th grade the most reasonable shoes you could find for DC weather?
A. Yes.
… and finally, the most pertinent question …
Q. Does greenery left in storage for six months still work?
Comment