April 3rd, 2007, 12:20 am

Recipe: Paneer (Fresh Indian Cheese)

WASHINGTON, DC, April 3, 2007

God, sometimes you guys act like if I’m not doing something totally random like making my own cheese that I’m drinking myself into retardation with Australian red wine and eating yippie junk food fake chick’n nuggets that I add ketchup to mid chew.

And that’s cuz you’re judgmental.

But I made my own cheese!

And that makes me more suited to the rigors of combat than you mere mortals.

Super Easy Paneer

(Fresh Indian Cheese Recipe)

Heat milk slowly to boiling - it’ll froth seductively up the edges of the pot in lacy tendrils of longing. Add citric acid - in this case, ’bout 3/8 gallons of milk to the juice of two lemons. Immediately lower heat to negligible; after 10 seconds, remove from heat.

Milk proteins curdle when the following elements are involved:

• heat
• citric acid
• stirring
• salt

So, by applying all of these, one can make cheese. After a few moments of acidification, the milk will separate into curds and whey.

Sit on your tuffett for a few minutes, then strain the curds into a cloth-lined colander. After some experimenting, I found that this was easiest using a small wire strainer. The curds want to stay together, so scooping ‘em up in the strainer and then shaking in short taps (similar to sifting flour) will create lil balls of curds. [heh, heh. balls.]

Add ‘em to yer stack in the cloth.

Rig a system where the water can drain whilst you work. For me, it was a series of bowls.

Once you’ve gotten all your curds scooped from the water, rinse ‘em throughly to try to get rid of the lemon taste. [Doood .... this did not work as well as I would have liked, and next time I will seek out powdered, flavorless citric acid.]

Shape the cheese curds into a rectangle or sumthing, and press into shape, using weights. I rigged up a series of cutting boards with a pan full of water for pressure. Watery whey will leach out, so make sure you’re leaking appropriately.

After a few hours, the cheese is firm, and ready for slicing …

… and frying …

… fried cheese makes my gnads happy!

Fried paneer, with fried potatoes, combines with a saag-paneer-in-the-making that’s been my taste quest forevs. Add a little peas and I’m in …

… gloppy sexy Indian food heaven. Grated ginger, garlic and onion join garam marsala, cumin and four kinds of chili powder in a fried base for chopped organic spinach; all bound together with a few dollops of fresh from the farmer’s market yogurt.

With a side of homemade sesame chili naan, my ultimate saag malak paneer was … delightful.

You sooooo wanna be at my house for dinner.