• 28
  • May, 2007
  • 8
Dig me out!

POSTED BY LauraFries.com IN About Me

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There are lines around my neck this morning. Faint lines; deepened and reddened by yesterday’s sun. They are my mother’s lines. They are mine. I’m twenty six today. AP style says I should put that in numerals: 26. I am 26. I say it out loud and it’s true: twenty six, I’ve earned it, I [...]

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  • 23
  • May, 2007
  • 2
Ready for the check

POSTED BY LauraFries.com IN About Me, DC

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WASHINGTON, DC, May 23, 2007 Her steps were jagged; harsh crisscrosses on uneven pavement, the too-fluid jangle of hep in her veins. She wore tight black jeans, and a tank, with a Michael Jackson-style fedora bent and tilted over one eye, fake diamond in her nose collecting DC sun, looking down with off-rhythm cadence: “Excuse [...]

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  • 17
  • May, 2007
  • 1
The yuckiness of death

POSTED BY LauraFries.com IN About Me, DC

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WASHINGTON, DC, May 17, 2007 Angie and I heard the snap! The snap of victory – for the kinda awesome-looking wooden mousetraps, laden with chunky Skippy and emblazoned ‘Victory’ 40s style. But the snap of victory meant the snap of a neck, for the furry vermin I’d seen scampering in the kitchen just moments before. [...]

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  • 02
  • May, 2007
  • 20
Paris Hilton Loves Corn

POSTED BY LauraFries.com IN About Me, Celebrity Gossip/Utter Bullshit

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COACHELLA, CA, May 1, 2007 I have no other words for this – other than, yes, that is the REAL Paris Hilton, and yes, I met her at Coachella. It was kinda like meeting Mickey Mouse at Disneyland, except unlike Mickey, she didn’t have a sweaty pervert inside her who wanted to hug me. Oh, [...]

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  • 26
  • Apr, 2007
  • 4
Telecommution

POSTED BY LauraFries.com IN About Me

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PHOENIX, Arizona, April 26, 2007 Ok, so I might technically be “on vacation” and supposedly taking it easy whilst I visit my folks in Arizona on my way out to Coachella. Guardian on telecommuting But you know this girl doesn’t believe in holidays – who’s to say I can’t coordinate the launch of a new [...]

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  • 18
  • Apr, 2007
  • 7
Recipe for a Hot Shower

POSTED BY LauraFries.com IN About Me

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WASHINGTON, DC, April 18, 2007 When the hot water heater in the basement’s pilot light goes out due to a flood, and the days start to creep by and the blogger’s still wearing the same outfit, what’s a girl to do? Why, invent a recipe for a homemade hot shower! ###1. Heat Soup Pot Of [...]

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  • 17
  • Apr, 2007
  • 2
I am a DC citizen

POSTED BY LauraFries.com IN About Me, DC

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WASHINGTON, DC, April 17, 2007 So I did it – I’m now a denizen of no state – a DC resident, one of the few, broke and proud, in 68.3 sq mi (177.0 km²) of con(per)verted swampland. I surrendered my Georgia identity but not my fake accent, to join the half-million representation-less in the murky [...]

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  • 09
  • Apr, 2007
  • 0
I been tired now honey

POSTED BY LauraFries.com IN About Me

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WASHINGTON, DC, April 8, 2007 I realize it’s been almost a week since I last posted. What can I say, kids? The pollen and the cold and the drama has got me curled up under the sheets, snotacular. Will. Blog. Soon. UPDATE I’m currently looking for an Information Architect who is interested in alt-media to [...]

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  • 27
  • Mar, 2007
  • 1
I can hear the Cure and garbage trucks

POSTED BY LauraFries.com IN About Me, DC

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WASHINGTON, DC, March 28, 2007 I woke bent, seemingly, on a day of failed attempts at satiation. Maker’s Mark the night before had red wax capped my inhibitions, and I climbed – nay, lurched – up mouse-ridden stairs to the fearful, creepy attic, where I dug in boxes and retrieved the chest – abuzzing with [...]

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  • 26
  • Mar, 2007
  • 4
Slow Food, Slower Sex

POSTED BY LauraFries.com IN About Me, Food

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Excerpts from International Late Night Email ##Boy: There’s a conversation in this sometime, maybe … but it’s an interesting thing to be male and decline an open offer for sex. It has sort of a twofold negative implication in that it’s slightly “un-male” (what kind of guy declines sex?) and also, it hurts feelings. Maybe [...]

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